My worst personality trait is that I’ve always been in favor of revenge. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that the best revenge truly is just becoming a better person, even better than them. Whoever “them” is in the context of your story.

There are a lot of people in my past that I would love to make amends with. And I also know there are people in my past who are always going to associate me with the past versions of myself, the versions of myself who hasn’t gotten to the point where I am yet, and won’t even associate me with the person I have yet to become. I think the sweetest revenge is blossoming into the person that you truly are supposed to be, and if possible, and even greater than anyone could envision you being.

Some of my favorite stories are about people overcoming addiction, people with addiction stories where it seemed like everyone had given up hope on them. And with their own sheer willpower, and with the knowlgede that they deserved better for themselves, they got the help they needed and got sober. Those stories give me so must hope in my own life that no matter what happens, I can still get my revenge. I can still show everyone the version of myself that I know exists in this life.

I think after being one of the most anxious and controlling person when it comes to how I feel my life is supposed to be lived. I think the best and highest version of myself is becoming the most laid-back and cool outlook on life that there is to have. That she creates and curates art to live in a space that can translate her dreams to strangers. I think that’s when I’ll know that vengeance is mine.

I find it really comical that the country truly believes that we are the greatest country on earth and we honestly never have been and I think that that’s a truth that is a hard pill to swallow for a good 50% of us. Through the years of slavery, and the clearly failed decades of capitalism, that we, for some reason, keep trying to stick with, is blatantly, obvious that we keep trying to use petty politics and petty circumstances to conceal what’s really going on here. And what’s really going on is that this country is fundamentally flawed.

And honestly, you don’t have to be smart to see that I mean just look at me.

What are the main ways that this country is flawed is by the way it would rather divide their peoples into turmoil and protest, and into fighting each other instead of admitting its own mistakes. This country is in the business of protecting their own assets instead of supplying their people with basic needs.

America is a Failing State

No country or no person of power is without flaw, and I think it’s really important as a person of power, or even a country of power to acknowledge when they’ve done something wrong and take the necessary steps to move forward in a positive manner instead of brushing it under the rug and creating more issue. When you brush things under the rug, you still allow people to make up what you believe in and where your stance is and that goes for almost every aspect, and I think when you look at a country that has done some thing, terrible like genocide or war without justified reason, and you brush that under the rug it’s not admitting that mistake or even acknowledging that it happened, you allow people who are faithful to the land to harbor negative feelings, without realizing what those negative feelings are Harbert for.

Lookin’ at you 9/11.

Was the Invasion of Iraq Justified?

r/changemyview: the Iraq war was justified

The Iraq War Wasn’t Justified, UN Weapons Experts Say

It’s so interesting to sit back has an American and watch our country function because we focus on making progress and some great ways but then we lose it by taking to the three steps back since so many other different ways and it’s almost like we’re stuck in the cycle of wanting to be progressive, and wanting to make change in this big world that we all share with all of these other wonderful countries, but we can’t let go of a lot of negative aspects about ourselves collectively.

Another thing that I really hate about this country and even I can’t say that this is an a fact about myself is how it’s a joke globally that we’re all the hamburgers and bimbos of the planet. Our country is so ignorant it’s a joke to the rest of the planet. It’s not even that we’re uneducated or not caught up on the latest technology. It’s that we are just unwilling to learn culture outside of culture that’s closest to our own. Culture that’s outside of our own is too strange and uncomfortable, and probably aligns with witchcraft and the devil and doesn’t align with our Puritan and Christian foundations that this country was built on so it’s strange that should be looked upon as weird or needs help and should be changed.

There’s so many things wrong with this country, so many that I can’t even begin to even list, and it’s not even that we as it citizens don’t even notice. It’s that we allow ourselves to be distracted by what the people in our devices tell us that we should be upset about. And instead of standing up for ourselves and saying “oh fuck off” and demanding the change we truly deserve as a nation, we end up just going along with whatever they are saying.

We should all find it frankly insulting that we as this nations’ citizens have known for so long that this country has treated us like the dirt and mindless robots the made us out to be. But here we are.

I struggled alot with this when I was in High School. Not only did I feel like I was literally not seen but most of the time when I actually said something, most people didn’t actually hear it. And I normally had to repeat myself several times.

I was growing up in the age where we were just coming out of “children were seen but not heard”, but even deeper than that I was met with a lot of bullying and just general staying away from my peers and just the adults are around me because I was different and because my skin color didn’t really match up with the things that I was “supposed” to enjoy.

By standing out and just being myself somehow ostracized myself, and no one was willing to get to know me, or even hear the things that I wanted to say and it was a completely lonely, devastating experience. 

As I got into my 20s and actually started getting friends, it was really hard for me to wrap my brain around having a small group of people actually wanting to be around me. I started craving for that validation of finally having people think that I’m cool or fun or whatever. And I just could never go back to before when I didn’t really have anyone at all. So I would do anything I could to make sure I could win over anyone’s approval, at almost any cost. 

It was so important to me that I kept the circle of people around me whether or not they actually liked me because I need to feed the delusion that people thought I was good. I eventually became so desperate to have people just surrounding me. It was insane.

I’ve been stuck in a lot of cycles in my day, but my biggest cycle and probably my hardest cycle is what I wanna do with my life.  Because I’ve always known what I wanted to do with my life but the struggle has. What do I do to get that point?

I’ve always been stuck in this phase of impulsively, getting a job, then hating my job like everyone dies and then quitting my job because I want to do what I actually want to do with my life. Then getting my expectations, not met one time and feeling like down and spiraling into a depression then impulsively finding another job that’s cycling into the cycle again.

This is truthfully such an exhausting cycle with something that I keep pushing myself through every 3 to 6 months because I’ve always known what I want out of life and I just feel like I just have to go get it sometimes, without responsibly factoring in real life things like bills, savings, etc.

It feel so strongly that I’m not doing enough with my life when people in their teens and twenties are living out their dreams and I still have a hard time clocking in at a regular job because I’m so focused on everything I’m not doing, I just end up doing nothing at all.

This is definitely another post where it feels like I’m just talking bad about myself and I know that’s the kind of stuff I’m trying to stray away from, but sometimes I think it’s important to look at what’s holding you back (without it ruining your day). Because the only way to get out of cycles like this is….out get of them.